Life on Mars

I have always considered myself a fairly coordinated person. I played a lot of sport growing up - so connecting golf club to golf ball implies that, doesn't it?

My coordination has obviously never met typical Danish design. That which my title suggests is exactly what I feel here at times - life on another planet!

Apparently my lifestyle of growing up in Australia masked the obvious symptoms of 'klutziness'. Australia - that huge land of sweeping plains, full of vast open spaces and large houses, disguised that I am actually the Bella Swan of Danish klutziness. For those of you who will forgive the Twilight reference, Bella Swan is a fictional character who is completely plagued by mortifying awkwardness and klutziness until it dissolves by association with a somewhat sparkling vampire. Unfortunately my 'sparkling vampire' lives in the form of a Danish boyfriend who, after the thousandth stumble on that same kitchen cabinet, can not cure my klutziness and can only exclaim 'Aww baby. Do you totally hate our place?'

Let me put this simply. A typical Danish apartment is compact. Very compact. Denmark has a style of living which I adore but am still adjusting to as an individual- the apartment style family living with the huge park culture. Although I in no way am complaining about the fantastic place I share with my beloved (which I love!), I would actually be showering over my toilet if not for renovations on the place. The kitchen resembles something Gordon Ramsay may froth at the mouth over, or as I like to think - the green mile of cat proportions (narrow corridor with fridge/cupboards on one side, bench space/stove on the other). Needless to say if I gain any weight in Denmark I will no longer be able to enter my bathroom, kitchen or exit to our courtyard via our spiral staircase.

As I am trying to shorten these posts I would like to conclude these latest observations with an update about my ongoing effort to master the Danish language. I find the following realization extremely funny with regards to my quest. Please see below the following statement from 'The Xenophobe's Guide to the Danes'-

“Danish is not a beautiful language. But it’s economical. Why invent a new word when two old ones are perfectly adequate?"

In the Danish language, words are ALWAYS recycled when possibile.

'Hej' means hello, ‘hej hej’ means goodbye, and ‘gift’ means married or poison (how ironic!).

On that note, I would like to conclude with the following translations which I find to be humourously 'economical'-

vacuum cleaner = dust sucker
cremation= body burning
aeroplane= flying machine
nipple= breast wart
cervix= life mother
fountain= jumping water
fry= fire
cloud= sky
polar bear= ice bear

A glove is directly translated into ‘a foot in boots’.

I'll continue with the learning, I am sure that there are hundreds more out there!

Until next time-

Loz