Copenhagen Arrival Survival Guide

It has come to my attention after moving to Copenhagen that if I was not fortunate enough to have a local guide in my boyfriend, that I may have been a little lost during my first week here, and the perpetrator of quite a few social faux pas upon arrival in this city. 

On that note I am going to relay some observations I have made in the form of a Copenhagen Arrival Survival Guide. 

1. If you cross the road at a pedestrian crossing when there is no right of way, or little green man flashing - YOU DIE!!!

In a gesture of social propriety and social grace that utterly confounds me, the Danes in Copenhagen have no time for serial jaywalkers like myself (they're slightly more relaxed in Sweden). As my boyfriend whispered urgently 'No!' as we stood at a crossing where there was neither a car or bike in sight, it was almost an unsaid knowledge amongst my fellow pedestrians that crossing at incorrect times was a big NO NO! On one occasion I almost forgot myself and stepped onto an empty road, only to step back as the pedestrian light was still red, and was faced by a mother pushing a pram who gave me a large smile and a mental high five. As my days here pass I realize that this is quite smart given the erratic traffic mixture of bicycles and cars all over Copenhagen, but on empty streets I still find it bizarre. 

2. Most of the buildings in Copenhagen appear to have been made from a few distinct designs of the same raw materials. 

As a newcomer in this city it has been extremely difficult to gain any sense of direction whatsoever as there are very few landmarks and a lack of the 'look' of a central business district. This is mostly due to laws forbidding construction over five stories without special permission. The city buildings are mostly brown brick, devoid of colour and all appear to be residential even if they are not - whereas a second design is of houses with triangular prism rooftops. At some point in time the Danes obviously decided to 'get wild' and splash some colour over parts of the city, but for the most part (and my boyfriend will despise me for saying this) it can appear quite drab. 

 3. Taking a Danish class before you move here will save your life!

Although most Danes speak perfect English, simple words and phrases like can you help me, where is, left, right, I understand, will avoid major panic when for instance you get lost jogging (refer to point 2). The 12 week course I engaged in was very cheap and add to it a few language apps on an iPod or iPhone and the Danes will appreciate your effort to speak their language that most outside of their six million-ish population do not bother to learn. I hate to say it but they're a lot more patient than other nationalities when you even attempt to speak at all and will talk very slowly for you. The very first exchange solo I had with them (jeg vil gerne have et klipikort, to zoner - buying a two zone bus ticket) built up my confidence and today I actually interacted solely with a restaurant waitress, ordering, drive refills, getting the bill, the works! Our waitress was extremely sweet and patient, as have been most people I have conversed with and the Danes have dispelled my fear that they would simply roll their eyes and start speaking English as soon as they heard my Australian accent. 

4. Buying a bicycle in Copenhagen is a competitive sport! 

Bikes are the primary form of personal transport in Copenhagen and their investment will save you on otherwise more expensive bus and train fares (Cabs? You're kidding yourself. A cab equivalent to 10-15 dollars in Australia will cost around 40 dollars in Copenhagen). The high demand for second hand bikes also means that buying one is not as simple as you may imagine. Forget even trying to bid online or asking to see a bicycle in Copenhagen city - chances are if you are seeing a picture of something remotely good being advertised, it was already sold twelve hours ago (I'm still trying!). 

5. Beware a typical Danish lunch

As a visitor in a foreign country I am always enthused to absorb everyday food dishes and discover amazing new culinary delights (Poutine Canada? Oh yes thank-you, don't mind if I do!). My first lunch here involved the FAMOUS and unpronounceable rugbrød that any Danish native outside of their homeland is sure to rave about. Unpronouceable for the moment, as I am still trying to train the muscle behind my tonsils to get the 'r' sounds in this language, I will get there. This rye bread itself is good, but beware its pairing with other foods when the open sandwich style of eating is completed. Rugbrød med røget skinke, remoulade og ristede løg (translation: rye with smoked ham, danish mayo and roasted onion) - good! Rugbrød med marinerede krydrede sild (translation: rye with nasty, dirty ass spicy marinated raw herring) - bad! VERY BAD! I will admit I have in the past been a fan of raw herring when it is prepared by a Polish former roommate and paired with shots of vodka, however I could not be swayed into liking this one and seeing it in the supermarket where it holds quite a large market share of the refrigerated section still makes my stomach quiver. Danish lunch - one hit, one miss. 

6. Obese people in Copenhagen are as rare as a Scandinavian low tax bracket. 

Whilst lost on a certain afternoon (I may or may not have been in running attire) and exploring my new neighbourhood I came across what seemed to be a peculiar sight, pictured below. I still wonder how Big Robert, this purveyor of 3XL-8XL clothing stays in business as in my wanderings of this lovely city, I am yet to see a worryingly overweight person. Where are you all hiding?!

7. Goodbye protein. 

By far the most fantastically named supermarket in the entire world lies in my very neighbourhood in Copenhagen. Wait for it - 'SUPER BEST'! Brings a smile to my face every time domestic duty calls. What I have discovered inside (and also at other grocers - I aimed to eliminate any possible outliers in my analysis) is that compared to prices for all proteins including eggs that I would experience in Australia, it is quite possible that living in Denmark will turn me into a lacto ovo vegetarian (look it up). 7-8 AUD for 12 eggs and 22 AUD per kilo for chicken - I kid you not. 

8. Hello beer. 

Once you get past the price of some foods over here, prepare to get excited at the price of beer! Who knows if it is because of those crazy marauding vikings and their horns of ale, or the proximity to European brew houses, but if you like buying a generic six pack of canned beer, you need only pay 4-5 AUD on a regular day. As my first night out in this city involved over 3 litres of European ale in pint form, I can attest that bar prices are fairly similar to Australia (9 AUD per pint). I can also recommend that any Australians out there who fancy themselves as 'drinkers' need to check their urge at the door. Our light styles and those of Europe obviously differ and you may at some point, like me, find yourself getting slightly tipsy whilst the cute, petite Danish girl across from you is taking her 6 or 7th pint of Leffe or Carlsberg Classic in her stride. In summary if you like cheap, good beer from the supermarket - then welcome home! I'm home!

9. Wearing sunglasses past 7pm and pre-drinking in evening sunlight feels so against nature that it is pure awesome. 

Being Australian, and to top it off being from Queensland, I am no stranger to the sun and feeling it all year round. Christmas at the beach was a regular feature growing up. Not only will a summer in a location this far north give you an obscene taste of jetlag when coming from the southern hemisphere, but glancing at the time every evening (Oh, what?! It's 10pm?) and being surprised takes some getting used to. You actually need to realise that it's still sun out, but Super Best closes soon!

10. Danish Television

As a huge fan of reality and trash television (Ice Road Truckers, Toddlers and Tiaras, Real Housewives, if it stars either white trash or a complete sociopath I am undoubtedly going to adore it) I am happy to report that yes, Copenhagen's proximity to the UK (the ultimate producer of trash tv) means that it shows a good supply of guilty pleasure reality shows in English. There are also concepts in Danish language which are not be forgotten such as the Young Mums and Luxury Trap, a show that educates people with terrible financial health. Giving up meat will mean there's no chance of me appearing on that one. 

I hope I have reflected accurately on my introduction to Danish life and am sorry this post lacked any real  or practical advice related to opening a bank account, getting tax information or obtaining a residence card - only the important stuff here, people! 

Till next time

Loz

PS I did end up purchasing a bike meeting my exact criteria (must have cute front basket) after the time of writing most of this post. I succeeded in doing this by stalking craigslist and emailing a vendor vigorously just after they advertised with a message along the times of 'I will pay whatever the hell you want, I will throw cash at your feet!'. I was basically buying my independence anyway, however riding in a lot of traffic has taken some getting used to.